Decisions, Decisions: Tired Of Playing Second Fiddle

This post has been a long time in the making, I was never sure if I wanted to broadcast such emotions but after the situation has come to light i feel its time. They say never mix business with pleasure but sometimes the journey that you start out on leads you in another direction. I am the poster child for "Say What You Mean, And Mean What You Say" with that being said I should take my own advice. 


Fellas, let me ask you a question, why is it that when YOU get something good you always feel the need to share it with your friends? When was the last time they shared anything with you, are you as loyal to them as they are loyal to you? Well let me tell you this when I find something or someone I really fuck with I go hard some say maybe a little too hard. As a Taurus we are emotional people and wear our hearts on our sleeve. The downfall to that is that we don't always know how to express our feelings without coming on to strong. 


I'm as loyal a friend as I am a lover so when you ask me to do something for you I will always comply to please you. But in the end I ended up hurting myself and what "could have been". The things that I dude for you was because I wanted to prove myself but the drama that surrounded us after that has lead me to believe that I might have made a mistake. Ask yourself what is more important your happiness or pleasing your friends and I should ask myself if he really cares for you the way that you do would he make you compromise yourself to please his friends. But wait i'm not putting it all on "him" because I have a say in what I do and he is not the bad guy in the picture, the real culprit is emotions and why in the world it is so hard for people both male and female to express themselves.


I'm torn between a rock and a hard place, because I'm feeling the shit out of "him" but we are not going to get anywhere with everyone's hand in the cookie jar. Obviously there is no relationship situation happening, but we must decided either we are Friends With Benefits or its a Business situation. Its safe to say that YOU can't handle both so a decision needs to be made. It may sound harsh but feelings are eventually going to get hurt and they will most likely be mine so i'm trying to spare myself the pain and drama. Trust me Nicole is a big girl and has been through alot of trials and tribulations so just do me one favor when responding; BE HONEST!!! 
I will respect you more for your honesty I was once told " I'd rather hear the ugly truth then be told a beautiful lie"

I"LL BE WAITING!!!!